Depreciation Appreciation

• Year: 2001
• Make: Jaguar
• Model: XJ8
• Price when new: $75,000 Cdn)
• Price now: $7,500
• Your savings! $67,500 (90.00%)
• Where you can buy it now: Kijiji Toronto

Sure the old girl looks enticing in that non-descript silver/grey so loved by Inherited Money desperately trying to hide themselves from the hoi polloi while everywhere around them the credit-fuelled binge of the last 20 years implodes like the Hindenburg Zeppelin and the Occupiers crawl out of their syphilis-ridden tents wanting to do battle if not for their attenuated physiques and pathological inability to engage in physically labourious endeavour.

Too harsh?  Well get used to it baby ’cause harsh is what you’ll be experiencing once you put one of these in your garage!

Sure the woodgrain dash, the rear-seat picnic tables, the Connolly leather.  It all sounds terrific doesn’t it?  Just like credit-default swaps!  What could possibly go wrong?  Well, everything could go wrong as it turns out.  Let me put it this way, when Ford started running Jaguar in the early nineties the quality of their cars actually went up.  And I’m going to guess that since the India-based Tata Motors took over in 2008 it has gone up again.  Because really, where else could it go?

The Connolly leather is wonderful though.  As the old joke says, it’s so the mechanic has a nice place to sit.  But really what more could you want at 10% of the original entrance price?  Depreciation, like credit-default swaps, are weapons of financial mass destruction, unless you’re the guy with his finger on the red button.  Position yourself on the right side of the depreciation equation and you’re riding around like a king, even if it is in the shop more than your Kia or Toyota.

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• Year: 1999
• Make: Land Rover
• Model: Discovery
• Price when new: $50,000
• Price now: $3,500
• Your savings! $46,500 (93%)
• Where you can buy it now: Kijiji Toronto

You’ve got the tweed jacket, the high brown boots, the beige breeches, a pipe and a German shorthaired pointer.  All you are missing is a pretentious foreign off-roader with all the design panache of a brick.  Hola!  May I present for your consideration the Land Rover Discovery.

Actually, this is the Discovery II.  Or the Disco II as those ‘in the know’ call it.  And if nothing else, when you drive a Land Rover you must be one of those ‘in the know’ Yorkville-shopping Rosedale types whose husbands made unseemly money funneling investments to offshore accounts, possibly in the Maldives .  Except what you probably didn’t know before you bought your Disco ball-of-joy was that your Upper Canada College kiddie shuttle had all the reliability of a Ford Pinto with none of the charm.

When you see a Land Rover Discovery for sale, priced as they usually are at something less than the Option B package on a Kia Rio, and you think of all the off-roading you haven’t done in your life and really must be doing, the temptation to throw yourself into this vortex of unrelenting repairs and maintenance nightmares will be difficult to resist.  Don’t give in.  Remind yourself of the chorus to your secret favourite song of 1984:

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

You’ll have to Google that.  I’m not going to point you to the link.  Just make sure your wife isn’t around when you watch the video or you’ll find it harder to explain what you’re doing than if you bought the currently under discussion Disco II.

You would think a company renowned for their off-road prowess in far away wilds like Africa or Kawartha Lakes would make for reliable motoring.  You would think.  But then you would remember this is British manufacturing.  Remember these names?  Triumph, Austin, Morris, Wolseley, Jensen, Riley, Lagonda, BMC.  These were all British car manufacturers.  Every last one of them dead.  Dead, dead, dead.  Dead like your Land Rover Disco II will be as soon as you’re out of cell range, or more than 200km from your newly wealthy mechanic so that even your CAA Plus membership won’t get you home without a pricey tow.

Dead.

Like Disco.

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• 
• Year: 1997
• Make: BMW
• Model: 7 Series, we’re unsure which one, let’s say the 740iL
• Price when new: $67,645 U.S. (let’s call it $85,000 Cdn)
• Price now: $1,900
• Your savings! $83,100 (97.76%)
• Where you can buy it now: Kijiji Toronto

For the opening post of Depreciation Appreciation blog it seems only fitting to select the archetypical used car disaster-waiting-to-happen.

BMW has structured their product lineup in such a way that the most desireable (used) vehicles are found at the bottom of the range and as you move your way up from the 3 series through the 5 to the 7 and 8 series the reliability tanks, the driveability tapers off and the depreciation goes through the roof.  Even within a series BMW have managed to make the lower-end model (I’m thinking E39 528i) a safer bet than the V8 leader of the pack (ie: E39 540i).

So what about this 7 series of unknown modelage featured here?  It has a typical for model and year 268,775 km (166,000 miles for your Yanks) in a fetching shade of purple.  It apparently “runs and drives perfect” which makes one wonder why “car is unplated”.  In final summation the ultimate Bimmer is “fully powered with curtains and more”.  Beyond that we don’t know anything other than the price is “firm” at $1,900.  Firm?  I mean, really, when you’re already offering a 97.76% discount why not go the whole way and make it 100%.  At least you could claim it as a charitable deduction on your tax return (note that author cannot guarantee the accurcy of tax, investment, health or marital advice proffered on this blog).

A word of warning to potential buyers: be sure to find out if this car had, has or will have the dreaded Nikasil engine lining problem.  Often these engines were replaced under warranty by BMW so if you’re lucky (and you are reading this blog so you have that in your favour) maybe this engine has already been dealt with.

Update>> I heard back via email from the seller.  It is indeed the 8 cylinder 740iL model.  Status of the Nikasil linings continues to be a mystery however.

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